Monthly Archives: August 2013

#244 The need to be “free”

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Since time immemorial, humans have always strived for freedom; freedom from slavery, freedom to express themselves, and freedom to work when and where they choose.

The world is not perfect and some people are always trying to control others. Thus, labor is exploited by paying low wages, providing low to no benefits, and being asked to work long hours. In relationships, one party is trying to dominate over the other, so as to control their behavior.

The conflict between people trying to control and people trying to get free seems to be eternal, it has existed since the dawn of time, and will exist for the foreseeable future.

If you feel exploited at work, try to understand if the problem is structural. If you work in a culture and economy where opportunities are limited, you have a tough task ahead as you try to get free of the economic shackles. In cultures where privacy is not recognized, you risk becoming an outcast if you seek emotional freedom.

Instead of looking for external reasons for your lack of freedom, look within. First become free of your biases, your need to judge, and especially become free of your fears. The external reasons will take care of themselves as you free yourself from within.

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#243 Vulnerability

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“Vulnerability” is a universal concept. I enjoyed hearing Dr. Brown speak (see video below) and have a few insights to share. The other concepts she reviewed (shame, guilt, empathy, sympathy etc.) are universal as well, but different cultures have different rules to deal with them. This leads to the notion of, “My rules are are better than yours.” Ergo, my culture is better than yours (you are so primitive!).

Watching the talk thru the lens of an individual, I find she has a lot of good advice to offer.

Watching the talk thru the lens of where people are in the Maslow’s hierarchy, these concepts may simply not be a priority to those who are at lower levels of the hierarchy.

Watching thru the talk of my cultural background (I am an Indian who lives in USA and loves hamburger and fries, but others may have stayed in the culture they were born in), it may touch a raw nerve, because it either hits home and you feel guilt, or because it conflicts with what you’ve been taught is the “right” behavior to such concepts.

At the end of the day, each of us has to figure out how to deal with and implement these concepts for ourselves. The policies and rules proposed by our ancestors (culture!) seem to have gaps. I am guessing they never expected cultures to intermingle. Exception scenarios seem to crop up leading to inner conflict on how to deal with them.

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