Category Archives: Leadership

#171 Self expression

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As we grow in our careers, we rise in Maslow’s hierarchy. In the beginning, we have a really strong need to express ourselves, be heard, have our way, and be in control.

Over time, this need eases, as we realize it is more important to connect and communicate with our audience. The reason is simple: if you cannot get thru to your audience, you will not succeed, and not rise in Maslow’s hierarchy.

The need for self-expression never really goes away. At the lower levels of the hierarchy, this need is based in fear, self preservation, and ego. At the higher levels, it is based on the need to self-actualize.

Thus, is not necessary to be embarrassed about your need for self-expression. Turn your efforts to convincing others that it is in their best interest to let you express yourself. This will force you to develop communication (and selling) skills. You will turn your attention to applying the more evolved attachment theory in your workplace.

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#170 Emotional release

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Occasionally, you or your co-workers will explode or implode. By “explode” I mean: get angry, verbalize frustration loudly and aggressively, or throw a tantrum. By “implode” I mean: sulk, be sullen, get depressed, or take a leave of absence.

The event preceding the explosion or implosion is a period of high stress and high stimuli. A difficult project, a painful interaction, an angry boss, an unreasonable customer can cause an explosion or implosion. Success or failure can be a cause as well. With success, you could celebrate loudly and noisily or have a feeling of emptiness. With failure, you could complain loudly and bitterly, or get depressed.

Professional athletes and other public figures can be seen crying, laughing, or cursing very publicly. Most work places see similar behavior.

An emotional release is experienced when you first start meditation, especially the technique called Anapana. This is a particularly brutal process where it is not uncommon to break down and cry. The benefits of this technique are many, but the one I’d like to call out is the wisdom that follows the emotional release from this meditation.

This wisdom is directly applicable in the workplace in a couple of ways: you’ll recognize the events that could lead to an explosion or implosion, and take steps to contain it or mitigate. If you do explode or implode, you will recognize your error, without guilt. Then you will take steps to prevent it from happening again. The gap between emotional releases will increase (MTBF) and your recovery during/after an emotional release will decrease (MTTR).

Emotions are meant to be released. Otherwise you will become a pressure cooker without a safety valve. Your emotions have arisen because of your genes and your bad habits developed over years. The task ahead of you is not to judge, but to observe your emotions and take steps to master them.

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