Category Archives: Leadership

#284 Suppressing emotions

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If you are like most people, you will experience a multitude of emotions in the workplace. Some emotions will help your performance for the better and other emotions will hinder your performance.

The first thing to know is, don’t suppress emotions. If you do, you will build a “pressure cooker” inside you and this almost always has bad consequences.

Instead of suppressing, observe your emotions. In the beginning it will not be easy because you have wired yourself to act, not to observe. As you continue to observe, your anger will be replaced with curiosity and you’ll want to understand the root cause for your emotions. It may take a lot of practice, but you’ll find that understanding your motives is far more valuable and rewarding as compared to reacting.

You co-workers can see that you are suppressing emotions and they will lose trust in you. The reason is simple: they do not know how you will respond or do next. Another point to note is that you cannot “take back” your words and actions. Knowing this alone should provide the motivation for thoughtful action and speech.

You may not always understand why you are wired a certain way. That’s okay, parents are not given a manual when their children are born. We have to figure it out for ourselves. Write your own reference manual and use it to guide your action.

You will need a lot of discipline to not react. However, don’t go to the other extreme and withdraw or passively comply. Ask your co-workers for time to think, let them know you are troubled and are not sure why. Seek help in seeing the situation that bothered you from multiple points of view. To gain the upper hand in the workplace, and to be effective, clearly articulate what is bothering you from the point of view of your customer. Don’t waste any time complaining about your lack/loss of power, lack/loss of budget, or obstacles in your path.

This guidance is adapted from the teachings of the Buddha, who also provided meditation techniques to strengthen your practice.

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#281 Learning from movies (book)

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Most people I know love to watch movies. They watch to be entertained, but the educational impact of movies cannot be denied. We learn in subtle ways because we tend to agree, disagree, question, condemn, and praise the characters, the plot, the decisions, and actions in the movie. Some go even further and question why the director made the movie a certain way, and offer alternative plots and endings. The smart movie producers will see a business opportunity in this phenomenon, the weak ones will be offended by the criticism.

You will enjoy watching movies even more when you know what to look for. And guess what, someone has actually written a book on the subject! Now you don’t have to be a film maker to know what to look for. Read this book to understand how movies are used to build character.

Movies are a powerful medium. It has been used for propaganda by evil people seeking to gain political power. It has been used to raise awareness to injustice. An important thing about a movie is that you have a captive audience once you get them in their seats. YOU are a captive audience once the movie starts. You need to be aware that you could be a victim of manipulation if you are not careful. Mindfulness when watching a movie is the way to learn and not be manipulated.

Movies reflect our culture more than we think. Because they are popular, your peers and competitors are watching them, even if you are not. Thus, you are forced to watch movies, even if you think it is a waste of time. By watching intelligently, you will get something out of it. Since there are more movies made than you could possibly watch, you have to choose intelligently before you can watch intelligently.

(Thanks to Judy for making me aware of this book)

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