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From time to time, “difficult” people show up at work. The “fight” or “flight” reaction proves counterproductive (though there is a time and place to do one or the other).

The first step is to properly classify the “difficult” person. Ask the following questions:

• Do you need to work with the person? This means, the person is a roadblock you need to remove, no matter what. You have to convince him or her about the value of your proposals, and you have to counter their objections. Not doing this will lead to serious escalation of conflict, something to be done only if you have run out of ideas or the other person is being unreasonable.
• Do you need to work through the person? This means, the person is a gatekeeper. By themselves, they have no value, but they have been asked to filter requests and proposals. He or she is an authorized to stop or discourage frivolous requests. You’ll make faster progress if you learn (and then follow) the rules of the game from this person.
• Do you need to work around the person? Building momentum around a person is the way to go if you can crowdsource support for your request or proposal. If the person is busy and out of bandwidth, they may not have time to listen to you. If they don’t listen or understand your proposal, the first step is for them to “get the message.” If you are not the most credible messenger, then accept that reality and outsource your internal marketing.

The point being, treat difficult people as reasonable (an oxymoron) and accept that your knowledge and skill may be limited in dealing with that person. Press ahead anyway. Let your co-workers know you will not go away until a satisfactory answer is provided to you.