Category Archives: Communication

#253 A lethal combination

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Here is a combination that is fairly prevalent in technical professions (yes, there are exceptions). You or your co-worker are a combination of:

  • High IQ and deep technical knowledge.
  • Introverted behaviors.
  • Poor communication skills.

In their mind, they have already solved the problem. In their mind, explaining the problem and the solution would be stating the obvious and insulting their audience. In their mind, a rejection is too painful and simply not worth it. Dealing with “unreasonable” people who don’t “get it” is simply not worth the effort.

The number of such people in the workplace is disconcertingly high, especially in the junior ranks. Such people suffer the most in the workplace. They don’t realize that their co-workers are struggling with their own demons and don’t have the time to listen patiently to extract the gems that may lie within.

At a policy level, such people should be singled out for special training. The ROI is higher productivity and morale, leading to higher retention. Trying to tackle this problem on an individual level takes a lot of skill. It is like doing hand to hand combat. If you are not good at it, it will get messy and usually the consequences are not pretty. In fact the problem actually gets worse, because the people involved have lost trust in each other. The irony of it is that the person being helped usually feels “picked on” and under appreciated.

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#251 Troubleshooting conflict

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If you are driving change, conflict is inevitable. If you are not driving change, you are not adding a whole lot of value in the workplace.

You or your co-worker may come to work every day and pray that you get thru the day without getting into an argument or fight or unpleasant interaction. This is a defensive approach and you are simply breeding fear and passiveness in yourself.

In most cases, it is not necessary to “go to war” or “take off your gloves” to foster change. In most cases conflict will arise due to one of the following reasons:

  • Change management process not followed. There are systematic ways to bring about change, if you try to rush thru the steps, trouble will follow.
  • An interpersonal conflict. Your co-worker does not like you or does not trust you. Be careful with this conclusion, it is not as common as you may think. It is a symptom, because most people are reasonable and will listen to a good suggestion.
  • Poor communication skills. You did not listen and respond to the question, and now your audience is irritated and annoyed. You did not explain yourself carefully, now your audience is confused and frustrated.

Bottom line: don’t start with the assumption that you need to avoid conflict. Pick the change efforts you need to put your weight behind and follow a systematic plan to execute. Troubleshoot the reason for the conflict and deal with it, do not avoid it.

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