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The typical steps in escalation are: feedback, coaching, warnings, and threats.

If you don’t like the outputs of your co-worker, you’ll identify the requirements that were not met. You will point it out to your co-worker and ask for remedial action. If he or she is struggling to perform, you may provide coaching and other assistance. After a couple of infractions, you will issue a warning, maybe two. Then you might get frustrated and threaten action of some sort.

Everything is fine till the “threaten” part. No one likes being threatened. It makes them defensive, rarely do they turn around. On top of poor performance you now have an enemy, and have to watch your back.

The best course of action may be not threaten, just carry out your threat. Meaning, don’t say, “I’ll fire you.” Just fire him or her. Don’t say, “I’ll complain to your boss.” Go ahead and do it.

A few things to keep in mind:

• If your co-worker is taken by surprise when you carry out your threat, then something has gone wrong along the way. You did not do a good job of sharing your complaints and pain points.
• Be really sure before you carry out your threat. A paper trail or other evidence will be needed if someone challenges your escalation to the ultimate step.