Category Archives: Culture

#247 Warnings versus threats

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The typical steps in escalation are: feedback, coaching, warnings, and threats.

If you don’t like the outputs of your co-worker, you’ll identify the requirements that were not met. You will point it out to your co-worker and ask for remedial action. If he or she is struggling to perform, you may provide coaching and other assistance. After a couple of infractions, you will issue a warning, maybe two. Then you might get frustrated and threaten action of some sort.

Everything is fine till the “threaten” part. No one likes being threatened. It makes them defensive, rarely do they turn around. On top of poor performance you now have an enemy, and have to watch your back.

The best course of action may be not threaten, just carry out your threat. Meaning, don’t say, “I’ll fire you.” Just fire him or her. Don’t say, “I’ll complain to your boss.” Go ahead and do it.

A few things to keep in mind:

  • If your co-worker is taken by surprise when you carry out your threat, then something has gone wrong along the way. You did not do a good job of sharing your complaints and pain points.
  • Be really sure before you carry out your threat. A paper trail or other evidence will be needed if someone challenges your escalation to the ultimate step.
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#244 The need to be “free”

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Since time immemorial, humans have always strived for freedom; freedom from slavery, freedom to express themselves, and freedom to work when and where they choose.

The world is not perfect and some people are always trying to control others. Thus, labor is exploited by paying low wages, providing low to no benefits, and being asked to work long hours. In relationships, one party is trying to dominate over the other, so as to control their behavior.

The conflict between people trying to control and people trying to get free seems to be eternal, it has existed since the dawn of time, and will exist for the foreseeable future.

If you feel exploited at work, try to understand if the problem is structural. If you work in a culture and economy where opportunities are limited, you have a tough task ahead as you try to get free of the economic shackles. In cultures where privacy is not recognized, you risk becoming an outcast if you seek emotional freedom.

Instead of looking for external reasons for your lack of freedom, look within. First become free of your biases, your need to judge, and especially become free of your fears. The external reasons will take care of themselves as you free yourself from within.

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