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How to overcome unproductive conversations? Here are some responses that may help:

• “Yes.”
• “No.”
• “I don’t agree.”
• “I don’t know.”
• “I don’t understand.”
• “I don’t remember.”
• “I’ll get back to you.”

If you say, “Maybe,” it sounds vague. So a seemingly valid response like, “I’ll think about it.” Negative comments like, “That’s ridiculous!” or polarizing comments will lead to further communication breakdowns.

Don’t worry so much about gaining agreement, set the bar high on achieving clarity.

Skill may help, but you need to embrace conflict, and have self-confidence to connect and communicate.

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If you and I are having an productive conversation, two things are true:

• We don’t understand each other.
• I don’t want to accept your solution, but I don’t have a solution to the problem (or, you don’t want to accept my solution, but you don’t have a solution either).

As you can see, this will lead to unresolvable conflict. This type of conflict escalates into assured mutual destruction.

The only way to break this cycle is to get on the same page as your audience. Change what ever it is your have to change about your approach, and your perceptions. The positive results will more than make up for the pain.

Pull out all stops and test your creativity to its limits and beyond to get a solution. A true solution is “win win” and the problem stays solved. If co-workers are not accepting your perfect solution, see above point. Same if you are not accepting your co-workers perfect solution.