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What follows is more than a lesson in grammar, it is a reflection of how you think and communicate, and thus your leadership style.

When you express yourself, you have an urge to say something, lighten your load, and you hope you will be appreciated for your thoughts. When you communicate, you study your audience closely and say thing they want to hear or say things they need to hear in way they will listen.

If you have to express yourself, as opposed to communicating, speak or write in the first person. Start with, “I will…” or “I think…” or “In my experience…” Take accountability for your thoughts and actions. Don’t be timid about saying what is on your mind. Don’t be afraid that someone will call you on it.

Unless you are royalty, or are referring to a specific group of people, avoid the “we” as in “We should do this.” It sounds weak and vague, besides, someone might say, “Who the hell is ‘we’?”

Ask for agreement, or action, or an opinion, by using the second person. “Will you…” or “Can you…” or “I’d like you to…” Make eye contact so the person you are speaking to knows you are referring to him or her.

Avoid third person usage, unless you are writing a research paper or fiction. “Someone should do this…” or “Why doesn’t someone fix this problem?” are rants or moralizing or pontification, and it shows you are part of the problem and definitely not part of the solution.