Monthly Archives: September 2013

#252 Advice

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You must have read the fable where a man, his son, and their donkey accept numerous conflicting advice, culminating in a highly undesirable end.

Leadership, influence, and just plain etiquette requires you to listen to your co-worker. However, listening to what they say, and accepting their point of view is not the same as agreeing and implementing their advice.

Decision making is a complex effort, and you must retain the right to making your own decisions. You may hire consultants who have an “independent third-party” viewpoint. If such viewpoint is truly neutral (as opposed to just trying to sell you more products and services), you will do well to consider it seriously.

If you need to give advice, first understand your co-workers needs and earn their trust by delivering on projects that matter to them. You may have correctly identified the root cause of their biggest pain point, but they may have identified a lesser pain point as being more urgent. You have to be constantly aware of whether you are working on the root cause, or delivering a project to build credibility. Don’t confuse one for the other.

Inexperienced consultants will come under pressure and go for short term wins without understanding the big picture. Such consultants will take short cuts, create designs that don’t scale, and create a bigger mess than what they started with. Competent consultants will refuse to do business with you until they can assess the risks of engaging with you.

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#251 Troubleshooting conflict

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If you are driving change, conflict is inevitable. If you are not driving change, you are not adding a whole lot of value in the workplace.

You or your co-worker may come to work every day and pray that you get thru the day without getting into an argument or fight or unpleasant interaction. This is a defensive approach and you are simply breeding fear and passiveness in yourself.

In most cases, it is not necessary to “go to war” or “take off your gloves” to foster change. In most cases conflict will arise due to one of the following reasons:

  • Change management process not followed. There are systematic ways to bring about change, if you try to rush thru the steps, trouble will follow.
  • An interpersonal conflict. Your co-worker does not like you or does not trust you. Be careful with this conclusion, it is not as common as you may think. It is a symptom, because most people are reasonable and will listen to a good suggestion.
  • Poor communication skills. You did not listen and respond to the question, and now your audience is irritated and annoyed. You did not explain yourself carefully, now your audience is confused and frustrated.

Bottom line: don’t start with the assumption that you need to avoid conflict. Pick the change efforts you need to put your weight behind and follow a systematic plan to execute. Troubleshoot the reason for the conflict and deal with it, do not avoid it.

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