Category Archives: Culture

#211 No whining

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This is a problem when raising children, and this one is sure to be common across all cultures. Their incessant whining makes parenting more difficult than it has to be. But somehow both parents and children seem to get past the whining, the children grow up and enter the work force. But the lack of early training and conditioning means some (okay, many) kids bring their tendency to whine into the workplace.

Whining will drain your energy and your co-workers will feel a loss of energy when they listen to you. This is a good reason not to whine, but there is a more compelling reason.

Before you whine to your co-workers, you are whining to yourself in your head. You formulate your complaint, your negative thoughts, rationalize it in your mind, and prepare to deliver it. This is an utter loss of productivity. You may have conditioned yourself over many years, thus the habit may be hard to break.

Nevertheless, if you whine, even occasionally, it is time to change this behavior. Now.

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#207 Rejection

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No one likes a rejection, but my hypothesis is that most rejections are imagined, not real. When your audience is saying “no” or pushing back, they could be merely confused and saying, “I don’t understand.” Or, they could be saying, “I don’t believe you.” In the worst case, they could be saying, “I don’t trust you.” (In this last case, you are really in trouble. Stop reading this blog and get professional help ASAP)

Assuming you are facing the first two cases, try asking these questions next time you feel you are being “rejected:”

  • How do you know? Is the words being used? The tone of voice?
  • Was the decision predetermined? Could you have done anything about it? If “no,” is it really a rejection?
  • Are they saying, “Not now” or “Never?” The distinction is important, in the former case, you still have hope. In the latter case, you can safely cut your losses and move on.
  • Is your audience willing to share the reasons for the rejection? It really hurts when they don’t, now the ambiguity is frustrating. What can you say to get a truthful answer?

Ultimately, a lingering negative thought after a rejection is a problem, because you might be rejecting yourself. Yes, be angry, but be brief about it. The time to recover has to be short, and now you have to deal with reality. Turn anger into determination, and “show them.” Winning elsewhere, living well, and being happy is the ultimate revenge. Rejections make acceptance sweet.

If you are suspicious about an acceptance after numerous rejections, well, that’s a subject for a different blog.

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