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No one likes a rejection, but my hypothesis is that most rejections are imagined, not real. When your audience is saying “no” or pushing back, they could be merely confused and saying, “I don’t understand.” Or, they could be saying, “I don’t believe you.” In the worst case, they could be saying, “I don’t trust you.” (In this last case, you are really in trouble. Stop reading this blog and get professional help ASAP)

Assuming you are facing the first two cases, try asking these questions next time you feel you are being “rejected:”

• How do you know? Is the words being used? The tone of voice?
• Was the decision predetermined? Could you have done anything about it? If “no,” is it really a rejection?
• Are they saying, “Not now” or “Never?” The distinction is important, in the former case, you still have hope. In the latter case, you can safely cut your losses and move on.
• Is your audience willing to share the reasons for the rejection? It really hurts when they don’t, now the ambiguity is frustrating. What can you say to get a truthful answer?

Ultimately, a lingering negative thought after a rejection is a problem, because you might be rejecting yourself. Yes, be angry, but be brief about it. The time to recover has to be short, and now you have to deal with reality. Turn anger into determination, and “show them.” Winning elsewhere, living well, and being happy is the ultimate revenge. Rejections make acceptance sweet.

If you are suspicious about an acceptance after numerous rejections, well, that’s a subject for a different blog.