Category Archives: Culture

#113 Mentoring

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Mentoring is a noble process. As a mentor, you take time out of your busy day to help someone in need. As a mentee, you open up your mind to new possibilities and gratefully accept what your mentor has to offer. Giving and asking for help is something we do every day, very often without giving it a second thought. Some organizations have formalized a mentoring program, giving every employee the freedom to reach out to and ask for help from any person in the organization, no matter what the level.

Two situations have proven tough for me as a mentor:

  1. When the mentee considers themselves to be “successful” and don’t need any help. I am happy for them and grateful that they have saved me time, I can now turn my attention to others who may need help. I just have to accept that not everyone will require my help.
  2. When the mentee is in survival mode. Such people are in great pain and in immediate need of help, whether it is employment, or help in removing a barriers, or soothe their psychological distress. Their need is so specific, so specialized, and the urgency level is so high, the pressure makes it hard to explore creative solutions.

Just as in providing therapy, there is a fine line between empowering and inspiring the mentee, and getting drawn into their problems.

The easiest mentoring situations for me are when mentees need help and are looking to grow, and they are not at the two extremes mentioned above. As a mentor, now I have time to explore the problem, suggest a few things to try, and give it time to work. The difficult problems in life never have “plug and play” solution, but have to be coaxed and cajoled to a solution.

While I may have room to grow as a mentor, there are some key takeaways for you as well. When you are a mentee, are you in one of the two situations I list above? For the first situation, you will not find a mentor, and thus lose out on opportunities to grow. For the second situation, you are probably going to make it tough on your mentor if you do not take steps to recognize the extra effort you have to put in as a mentee.

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#112 Wasting time

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This happens more than we like in the workplace: you ask a question, and a co-worker waxes eloquently about the problem, and brainstorms solutions. As your mind begins to wander, you know you should stop the idle chatter but are not quite sure how. You need a way to stop the conversation without creating or escalating into a conflict.

The mental checklist I use is:

  • “Has this person solved this or similar problem before?”
  • “Has this person seen someone else solve this or similar problem before?”
  • “Has this person read about or researched best practices relating to this or similar problems?”

If the answer is “no” I usually ask, “Are you offering me your opinion, or facts?” Of course, the situation tells me how to phrase the question in a polite way. This usually works to halt the flow of pointless ideas. If it does not, and the speaker wishes their opinions to be heard, I suggest we set up a different time to deep dive into the speaker’s perspectives. If it turns out they are sharing facts, I shed my defenses and listen attentively.

The last thing we need in most workplaces is more intellectual horsepower. There are already a lot of bright, creative people, who can see multiple angles of a problem in the blink of an eye. What we need is more people who have experience with the subject matter, in addition to the intellectual horsepower to analyze patterns, and the communication skills to explain what they know.

It is not a problem if the body of knowledge to solve the problem is considered “experimental” or “early maturity” or “hypothesis driven.” In fact, it makes it fun and enjoyable to solve a problem that has not been solved. Pretending to be knowledgeable or an expert is the waste of time we need to find and squash.

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