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Early in your career when your co-worker does not understand you, you might conclude one or more of the following:

• “What a loser!”
• “These people don’t deserve me.”
• “This is so obvious, why don’t they get it?”
• “What have I done to deserve this person as a co-worker?”
• “These people are clueless, what a waste of time.”

With a little work and effort, the following perspectives will come naturally:

• “They have not understood me, I wonder why?”
• “How much do I need to work to help them understand?”
• “Is the effort worth it?”
• “I need to sharpen my communication and messages.”
• “These people are so clueless, I am going to look so good when they understand me!”

It takes a deep self realization, self esteem, and self confidence to change perspectives. Not to mention discipline and effort. It is worth it. In fact, you will see there is no other choice.

Complaining that your co-worker “does not get it” may signal a lack of skills on your part (listening, people, communication etc.). If you have to complain or coach, be specific, be precise in your request for change. You will stay calm, and more important, you will get better at communicating.