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At some point, an escalation will turn into a complaint. Be sure you are complaining to the person who can act and right the wrong. Or to a person who can suggest alternative solutions. Above all, do not complain to someone who is just a sympathetic listener. (Complaining to such people is called “gossip”)

When you complain don’t bother to point to an individual who may be at fault. This may seem counter intuitive when you are angry, but you have to try this to experience the benefits.

If you ignore the person but hit hard on the problem, the person “at fault” may work to right the wrong. This may work to your advantage and you will gain an ally.

Your co-workers are taking note of how you complain. If you go after a person, they will trust you less. What will you do if they make a mistake? Will they have to watch their backs?

If you hit hard on the problem, it is likely you will expose a business critical issue and more people may come to your aid. This means higher visibility for your situation and faster resolution.

Try this approach if you’ve been denied a promotion, given lower or no raise, not put in charge of a plum assignment, or undermined in front of your team. The difficult part is to get past your emotions and describe the problem with clarity and precision. Your co-workers emotions are probably overflowing at this point as well, don’t do anything to make it worse.