#279 Defensive

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Defensive behavior looks and sounds like one or more of the following:

  • “I am not to blame.”
  • “It’s not my fault.”
  • “I’ve already explained myself.”
  • “Why am I repeating myself?”

There is a difference between being “firm” and being “defensive.” You need a way to deal with time wasters and bullies by being firm, but without being defensive.

Defensive behavior is less likely if you are open, ready to listen, ready to adapt, and ready to acknowledge a mistake.

If you have to offer a different point of view that contradicts your co-worker, do so as a matter of fact, without getting defensive. It takes a couple of attempts to get to a problem/situation description that everyone can agree upon. I’d argue that the fear of being wrong is perhaps the biggest reason for defensive behavior.

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