Category Archives: Leadership

#193 You don’t understand me

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Early in your career when your co-worker does not understand you, you might conclude one or more of the following:

  • “What a loser!”
  • “These people don’t deserve me.”
  • “This is so obvious, why don’t they get it?”
  • “What have I done to deserve this person as a co-worker?”
  • “These people are clueless, what a waste of time.”

With a little work and effort, the following perspectives will come naturally:

  • “They have not understood me, I wonder why?”
  • “How much do I need to work to help them understand?”
  • “Is the effort worth it?”
  • “I need to sharpen my communication and messages.”
  • “These people are so clueless, I am going to look so good when they understand me!”

It takes a deep self realization, self esteem, and self confidence to change perspectives. Not to mention discipline and effort. It is worth it. In fact, you will see there is no other choice.

Complaining that your co-worker “does not get it” may signal a lack of skills on your part (listening, people, communication etc.). If you have to complain or coach, be specific, be precise in your request for change. You will stay calm, and more important, you will get better at communicating.

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#190 Challenges in being mindful

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Assuming you have watched the video on mindfulness, I must share with you some of the associated challenges in developing mindfulness.

You will realize the meaning of the phrase, “Ignorance is bliss.” As you become aware of yourself and your surroundings, your anxiety may increase. This is counter intuitive, mindfulness is supposed to bring calm and reduce stress!

This may happen because you do not know what to do about the problems you have uncovered. An assumption of mindfulness is that the “answer lies within you” and it will emerge. This is true, but the journey is painful. You can accelerate the process by learning tangible skills to address the problems that have been revealed.

Assuming you have made progress in dealing with the anxieties of mindfulness, or are making satisfactory progress, the next problem is dealing with co-workers who are mindless. Remember, you cannot go around teaching mindfulness to your co-workers. That is not only not your role (unless you have permission to do so), but you will set yourself up for failure with your co-workers. The need to show, not tell becomes even more important.

The burden of leadership will be fully revealed when you develop mindfulness. You see what others do not see. You have to be determined, vigilant, cheerful, take a stand, and open minded at the same time. Prepare yourself and and be resilient. The Buddha cracked the code for the non-work environment by laying out a roadmap. You have to discover or invent a roadmap for yourself in your workplace.

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