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Many of my students who attended the course based on my book have commented that leadership principles are useful in their personal life as well. Yet, in the Preface, I state that the book is targeted for workplace behaviors and not for personal life. I’ve had trouble explaining why… until now.

After some introspection, I figured out why leadership behaviors at home require a different approach.

• In personal life, the “volumes of emotion” are higher. Anger, happiness, joy, and depression are overwhelming. Withholding love and affection can result in being underwhelmed. 
• There don’t seem to be checks or restraints on what a family member or friend can say, share, feel, or express. The filters applied by HR are not there to protect the innocent. Yes, religious and social norms are the “HR” at home, but enforcement varies.
• The amplitude of emotions are higher. the peaks and valleys of anger, happiness, joy, and depression are roller coaster rides.
• The occurrence of emotions is unpredictable. Tempers can flare, love can erupt, and it is unclear what triggered the emotion.

These problems can be “controlled” and “regulated” better in the workplace. While not perfect, those who seem to cope with it know that our work does not define who we are. While our family and friends also do not define who we are, they are “closer” and the interactions are less transactional.

Yes, the underlying principles are the same at work and at home, but I am not signing up to provide parenting lessons or marital counseling any time soon. That is a whole different book. To be written by a different person.

Besides, the first principle of good strategy is “focus” and I choose to focus on the workplace at this time.