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Passive aggressive behavior abounds in the workplace. I was horrified to learn someone has written a book on the subject. This confirms my worst nightmares that the behavior is widely prevalent, and common enough for someone to research the subject.

Without pretending to be scientific, here are some reasons why I think it happens:

• Fear of conflict: You like peace and harmony so much that you don’t realize that passive aggressiveness leads to a drop in peace and harmony.
• Laziness: It is too much work to stand up for yourself.
• Fear of public failure: Why go head to head with an “enemy” stronger than yourself, guerrilla warfare has already proven to be more successful.
• Lack of skill: If you don’t know how to frame up a negative thought into a positive, and inspiring one, you are going to default to “fight” or “flight.”
• Lack of willpower: It is easier to give into your negative emotions and find a “release” with (passive) aggressive behavior. Depending on how bad your habit is, it is going to be a slog to develop the willpower to change.
• “Tuning fork syndrome:” This means your behavior is dictated by the norms you see in the workplace. You lack the inner conviction to stand up for what is right.

First step is to observe yourself, develop the self awareness that you are passive aggressive. Keep  observing yourself till you get sick of your behavior and are ready to change. The rest should follow automatically. If it does not, read my book to find out how to accelerate your change.